Sunday, December 12, 2010

Beware of the Garden Gnomes

How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack: Defend Yourself When the Lawn Warriors Strike (And They Will) by Chuck Sambuchino

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Do you or someone in your neighborhood own garden gnomes?
  • Do you believe garden gnomes to be simply adorable little yard decorations?
  • Do you have a low sense of paranoia?

If you answer yes to any of the questions, this book is for you.

Garden gnomes appear to be innocent and adorable decorations for suburban yards. They are much more dastardly and deceitful than that! When you least expect it, they will turn on you and attack. Sneaking into your home. Ambushing outside you as you take out the trash. Tunneling into your basement. They are everywhere and they are coming after you.

This little book will tell you how to survive when – not if – the gnomes come after you. Read it carefully. Then read it again. Your life depends on it.


In a world full of zombies, vampires and other mythological creatures being featured in books, movies and on TV, this is a breath of fresh air. Written with a great deal of humor and sarcasm, the instruction guide is just serious enough that you will soon doubt the innocence of garden gnomes.


Nothing really. It was a fun read.

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